Being a new mom is not overwhelming. That’s because the word “overwhelming” in itself doesn’t cut it. It starts with nine months of nurturing a human being inside you, only to be followed by what seems like a non-stop cycle of crying, diaper changes, and spit-ups. And forget sleep. Sleep becomes a thing of the past, much like your sex life.
Becoming a new mom may not be filled with the Hallmark-moments you thought it would. The truth is, you won’t exactly be in love every waking moment with your baby: and who can, when most of your time is spent changing diapers and wiping off spit-up while in a sleep-deprived state? Don’t worry: you’re not alone. Every new mom has her ups and downs, and just because you’re not showing your utmost joy 24/7 doesn’t make you a bad one. Here are some tips on how to deal with being a new mom.
Give yourself time to adjust.
Babies don’t have a fixed schedule. They don’t know that night time is for sleeping, or that mommy can’t hold him now because she has to take a shower (her first in a week). Trust us: it will be frustrating and annoying. And it’s okay to feel that way. The key is to accept that you are now on a different time zone—your baby’s—and that you’ll have some adjusting to do. Over time you’ll get used to this, and soon develop a routine with the little one that works for both of you.
Stick to your guns.
New moms are always surrounded by people who believe they are experts in raising children. From the cashier at the supermarket to your very own grandmother—everyone has their own opinion on how you should raise your child. First things first, stick to your own instincts. You were able to keep your child alive in you for nine months, we’re pretty sure you are capable of keeping her alive well after that. Take other people’s opinion with a grain of salt, and shake off advice (whether asked for or not) that you don’t believe in. And never, ever feel bad about not taking someone’s advice. What works for them may not work for you.
Learn to delegate let go.
Your number one priority right now is taking care of your newborn: everything else can wait. We’re talking about the laundry, the dishes, and those curtains in the living room that you’ve been meaning to replace. Thinking of so many things at home (and work) will only cause you stress. Learn to delegate tasks to your partner, your friends, or your helper. Too tired to cook? Have food delivered. Dishes piling up? Consider using disposable plates in the meantime. Big project happening at work? Maybe its time to let the new kids step up. You can switch back to career mode or turn into a Real Housewife of Insert-City-Here once you’ve adapted a new routine. In the meantime, don’t feel bad about accepting help, and asking for it.
Meet other (new) parents.
Unless you and your close group of friends popped out babies at the same time, it will be hard for them to relate to your new-mommy woes. Not everyone can understand your colic issues…except for other new moms! Making friends with new moms can be a big help—you can share each other’s ups and downs, and be reassured that what you’re feeling and going through is perfectly normal. Plus you won’t feel guilty about showing off those ten million photos of your little one napping.
Have some “me” time.
Taking care of a newborn baby is exhausting. You will eventually get to a point where you’ll look in the mirror and wonder how you “lost” yourself in this new stage called motherhood. We hear you—and we’re telling you that it’s very important that you find pockets of “me” time to do the things you love and calm you. It could be as short as a five-minute walk around the block, or maybe an hour or two to get an express spa treatment. Get your partner, mom, or friend to look after the baby. Or hire a baby-sitter. It’s very important that you show yourself some love—a baby feeds off his mom’s energy, meaning happy mom equals a happy baby!
To all moms out there, what advice can you give new moms?
Also read: Mom Knows Best
